MARRIAGE IN THE LORD
Richard M Brown
Genesis 24: 1-21
This chapter is much loved, I believe, by all those who cherish the precious light of the assembly which God has graciously given to us. It presents a lovely picture of the activities of the Holy Spirit as sent by the Father to secure a bride for His Son, and then to lead her back to the heavenly Man. In these times in which we are, when we experience so much restriction and fewness, it is good to be exercised to keep the greatness of the assembly before us; because this chapter shows us that it is the primary matter that divine Persons are engaged with at the present time. The passage that our brother has already referred to in Ephesians 5 is one which bears out what we have often heard, that the assembly is the chief interest of Christ. But this chapter shows that, if we think of the Father and of the Holy Spirit, their primary occupation at the present time is with the assembly. That would help us to see how important the assembly is, and would cause us to appreciate in a greater way, dear brethren, the honour of being part of it.
In referring to this passage on this occasion I had in mind to speak briefly about marriage “in the Lord”, 1 Cor 7: 39. I would like to suggest that there are two matters that arise in connection with Rebecca - in type, of course - which must be present if a marriage is to be regarded in that light; if it is to be regarded as “in the Lord”. The first matter was the question of her family: she had to come from the right family. The second matter was the question of her willingness.
Abraham’s primary concern was that the wife for his son should come from the right family. On no account was the servant to find a wife for Isaac from among the daughters of the Canaanites. It was essential that she be kindred to Abraham. What does that mean for us? It means that for a marriage to be in the Lord both the man and the woman must belong to the household of faith: they must both be believers. I am sure that is clear to us all. I am sure we can see that a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever could not be “in the Lord”. In writing to the Corinthians Paul says, “what part for a believer along with an unbeliever?”, 2 Cor 6: 15. So the first cardinal feature is that both the man and the woman are to be believers on the Lord Jesus. Thank God that our dear brother and sister are that.
But the servant raises quite a different matter. His concern was as to this matter of willingness. He says, “Perhaps the woman will not be willing to follow me to this land”. He could envisage a situation where he might find an eligible young woman from the right family, but she might not be willing to follow him. Now, I think that indicates that simply because two individuals are believers does not, of itself, make their marriage in the Lord. This additional feature is necessary. We might consider what it means practically for us.
You will notice that when the servant arrived outside the city he turned to God in prayer, no doubt very much feeling his need of God’s help in this all-important matter. In view of what Abraham had said to him, we might have thought he would have prayed that the first woman who came out of the city would be one of Abraham’s kindred, but he says nothing about that at all. Instead, he proposes this simple test whereby, when he asks the woman to provide him with a sip of water, she would not only give him one, but she would also provide water for his camels. What was that test designed to bring out? What was it that the servant was looking for? It brought out Rebecca’s alacrity; it brought out her readiness to serve. But lying behind this simple test was a key principle: it brought out that Rebecca was prepared to put the interests of the servant before her own. She was prepared to subordinate her own interests to the interests of the servant. That, in its application to ourselves, is what makes a marriage in the Lord. It is the marriage of two individuals who recognise the Lord’s authority over them, who recognise the Lord’s rights over them and who desire to answer to those rights in a practical way, and who recognise that the path of blessing for them is to put the Lord’s interests before their own. That is the critical feature that makes a marriage in the Lord, and it is what Rebecca demonstrated by this simple test. She had her own business to attend to - she had come out of the city to draw water - but for the moment all that was put to one side while she attended to the servant and provided water for his camels also. That feature is the secret to a marriage in which we may prove the Lord’s support and blessing.
Now, Rebecca never knew she was being tested. Providing water was a very simple matter. Rebecca did not realise, I suppose, that at this moment she was being observed. I would like to suggest that we are all under test. And it is in the simple matters of everyday life that it is manifest whether or not the Lord has the place with us that He ought to have. As I say, Rebecca never knew that she was being observed, but we all are, dear brethren. The Lord has His eye upon us all, and the Holy Spirit has too; we are all under observation. The Holy Spirit has come here to maintain the interests of Christ. I believe the Holy Spirit is looking for persons, and looking for households too, that He can use in His great concern to maintain the interests of Christ here on the earth at the present time.
Rebecca never knew she was under test, nor could she have known what blessing would flow to her from answering to the test. How could she have had any idea at this point what blessing she would come into? As we seek to put the Lord’s interests first, as we seek to be committed to the present movements of the Holy Spirit here on the earth, the Lord is able to bring in blessing in a way that we may never have expected. It does not mean, of course, that the pathway is without difficulties and exercises; it surely is not. But it is a pathway in which we may prove the Lord’s gracious support. That is something for us to commit ourselves to. Each one of us can be exercised to be personally committed to the Lord Jesus; but it is a very blessed thing to have a companion with you in that path. I commend that to our brother and sister especially; to be together, to be with one another, in relation to the Lord and His interests. Having a house of your own opens up new opportunities in which to do that: to provide for the Lord, to be committed to His interests, and to care for His beloved people. There is nothing more precious to the Lord on the earth at the present time than His dear people. To have a household is an opportunity to care for them, and so prove His gracious blessing and support.
At the end of the chapter they say to Rebecca, “mayest thou become thousands of tens of thousands; and may thy seed possess the gate of their enemies!”, v 60. May we suggest, in its application to ourselves, that becoming thousands of ten thousands would speak of spiritual enlargement; so that as moving on this line we grow in our souls, grow in our knowledge of Christ, grow in our knowledge of His love, as our brother has spoken of it, and grow in our appreciation of what His chief interest is here on earth. “And may thy seed possess the gate of their enemies!” might suggest that a household thus set up is one that is maintained in moral victory. Over against all the influences that are abroad, and the terrible breakdown that has come into marriage in our society, a marriage of two souls who are together in relation to the Lord is impregnable. It will overcome through thick and thin.
I commend these two features, which are essential to a marriage in the Lord. May our dear brother and sister prove the Lord’s support in committing themselves wholeheartedly to them, as indeed may we all, for His glory.
Maidstone
18th September 2020
Words given at a marriage meeting